My Dad and I went out to lunch today and then to rescue a cat-

Well- first he met- Black Cat #8935792745 and he was charmed by him immediately!

Then came Olivia- a little black and white Cow-kitty! SO CUTE.

He decided that these two little 3 1/2 month old's needed a new home!
Yes- TWO of the most luckiest kitties today...

Meow!

Today is my last day of work at the office.

It feels very weird. Perhaps I am even a bit sad...

I am not leaving because I hated it, or my co-workers, or anything like that. That is what makes it weird.

This morning... is a cool moody morning. It had rained last night it seems and the cars are wet and the birds are eager to find easy food. My alarm keeps going off and I keep hitting snooze- and thinking about what it will be like on Tuesday of next week when I will be getting up without the fear of that time clock. I hated rushing around and being so angry about traffic. All of my stress which I have known- will now switch and change. I can see myself becoming crazy over the lack of coffee filters here at home! "What! How am I going to be able to make coffee!!! Auuuugh!!!" as I yell out loud to... myself? The cats??? Haaa...

Maybe I will make friends with the lovely Asian cook who comes to work at 8:00am each day and sits on the back step of the restaurant, reads his paper, drinks his coffee and occasionally makes his long distant phone calls... I wave to him in the mornings. I rather enjoy seeing him and can't help but think of the many hours each day- he works. I finaly see him leave when the place closes after 10:00pm. I have named him Kevin jokingly- from the Men In Black 2 movie- You know-Agent Kay otherwise known as Kevin Brown. So maybe Kevin and I will hang out together each morning. Drink our coffee and catch up on things together. Maybe we shall share the paper? I will tell him about the craft world and talk about my children with the fur coats. He can tell me about his family from far away and bitch about the locals.

Maybe that is what it will be like?

I am sure I will know the answers soon. Tuesday is going to come one way or the other. After today- I am on a house vacation. There are lots of things to finally finish around here and Thomas is staying home tomorrow to help make sure it all gets done. Trips to the dump, taking down the dead tiny tree out front which has finally surcome to disese (Sad). I have to clear out the studio of my travel boxes and sort and clean. All of the clutter needs to go away and the table tops need to get a new topper of paper. I am almost ready for next week... Almost.

Well now it is 7:45am and I need to get moving. My last day awaits. It is time to go downstairs, curl my hair, wash up, steal a quick cup og coffee, wave to Kevin at 8:00am and finally get dressed.

They are throwing a party for me today at work. I will take photos because I think that is so fun and well- It really warms me inside to think I would get a real party in my honor! Tonight- after work- Jason, Lisa, Thomas, John and Libby and of course me- are going to go celebrate over rotating sushi in Towson.

So heres to letting go. Here's to change. Here's to Risk! Here's to freedom and happiness...

Here's to me doing something I was meant to do.

XxooxX

Well- I did it. I went and wore my two piece bathing suit today to the beach at Calvert Cliffs.
Uuugh!

It was one of my goals back in April when I decided to start loosing this weight. Along with seeing this lovely suit at Target which I finally ordered on line. It came and sat on my dresser almost all summer- mocking me.

In the meantime- I purchased another suit at Target- a red two piece one which was much more conservative and wore it about two weeks ago when I was out in Phoenix- I did not get up and out of the pool without the shield of a towel or a tee-shirt to help cover up the exposed bits. While I was in the water- it was no problem. I was safe...

The one thing which both places have in common was- that most likely no one knew me or noticed me! I am anonymous! 

So today- after the 2 mile hike in the woods to the beach, I reached the sandy beach and after some time with my white tank top shielding me, I got up the nerve to take it off and enjoy the beach without my training wheels!

It will be some time before I just start wearing this all the time in public places as I do not think I am ready to make that huge leap... BUT there will come a time when I will be jumping around like the women on the Olympic Volley Ball team in my back yard! Haaa!

XxooxX
(More photos on my Flickr...)

I am sitting in bed right now with my new Apple laptop. It is lovely- a little different. The keyboard is stiff and the monitor is super clear. You know- just different. I am happy to have it. Not the I really needed it when it came down to money. I mean- the other one is about 4 yrs old and is working fine I guess. It was discussed that for my new adventures as an independent artist and business woman- that it would be helpful to keep everything in one place. In the past- everything was spread over 3 computers. One at work with my on line email. One at home which was the main one and of course- that laptop. This one... this new one- is my VERY first computer. Yes... I mean- this is mine. I bought it and it is for me. Haaa... how long have computers been around? I know. Nope- never had one on my very own. Only since Thomas have I had one to share. I don't know... I just never grew up with things that were expensive and new. In the early 1980's we had cable for maybe one year or so and that was it. Throughout the 1990's at home- nothing. Even now- my Dad has not gotten cable. My mother just didn't see a reason to have that many options. Haaa... So when it comes to NEW things with a big $ price tag  attached- I usually pass. Same with my digital camera- One simple one about 7 years ago has been fine. Thomas urged me to get this new one- it is nice I guess- but it feels expensive and that just means I could break it. See... grow up without money and this is what happens. You think of things differently. Thriftier I guess. It has it pluses and minuses for sure.

For the first time today- my leaving my day job really sunk in. I said to someone that- in fact- a week from tomorrow IS my last day. One week left. (THUMP THUMP) My heart pounds. It is a scary thought sort of. Thinking that this daily schedule I keep will not be the same anymore. I will not be rushing around so much to get out the door and into traffic and hurrying into my building to swipe in to that time-clock. Rush back down to the second floor to my office. Throw my things down and grab my empty coffee cup and scurry down the hall to the nurses break room and make a fresh pot of coffee all the while pouring the rest of the current pot into my cup. Rushing back down the hall again to my desk and quickly flicking on the computer as I tear packets of Splenda into my cup and add a dash of cinnamon. Jump back up to get some of the milk I carry in an empty water bottle since I hate having milk go bad. The power in my building seems to go on and off all the time and thus- risks my daily morning ritual of coffee- Spoiled milk? Does not make for a good day. My mornings... Mostly the same each day. I have grown to enjoy them... My leaving my job now? It much harder these days in many ways- it has become so much easier. I tell you- two-three years ago- HELL YES... It just was difficult to have to deal with challenging personalities... (Yes- I am being polite). Now- it is much different. Sigh...

So Next week- at this very time... I will going to bed and waking up for my LAST day of office work. The summer has flown by. Fall is approaching as the sounds of the crickets are growing louder each night.

Well... on that note... I think I better stop rambling and get onto sleeping.
I look forward to being able to post again during the day-light hours... No more blocked sites. Ahhhh freedom.

xxooxx

WHAT A NIGHT!!!

Michael Phelps makes me so happy and proud!
(did I mention he is a local lad???)



Wait!?!?! WHATTT???? Oh my... heeee!

I have been up before the sun... can't sleep.
Random thoughts pass in and out of my brain. Memories from childhood, of last year, last month, yesterday, everything loosely comes and then disappears.

I am slightly overwhelmed I suppose. I guess it is to be expected.
I am not feeling like myself. I am not sure I ever will. Well, I mean the old self... I am just feeling different. I think this is just a part of aging.

You know how you can look at a picture and see how things have changed? See how you have gotten older? I think I am feeling it without having to see a photo to prove it to me. Not just age and the outward signs of "getting older" but the feeling of "change". It is happening to me and I guess I am just sensitive enough at this moment in life to be in tune with it... I am not sure I like this feeling. It all seems a bit much. I think I prefer to not be so aware of it.... if that makes much sense.

I bit off a lot to chew lately. Took on a lot. Changed myself on the outside. Lost a bunch of weight. Changed my hair color. Decided a new career path and I am now quitting my job. Putting all of the burden of success on my shoulders.

Did I mention that I do not recommend doing all of this at once?

No wonder why I am up this early...

I guess I will try to sleep for a 1/2 hour before getting ready for work...

I hate not being able to update at work...

Soon it will change-
soon...

12 years ago this morning, I was waking up a single gal for the last time. I went out to a brilliant breakfast with my parents and my brother and his wife. By the time it came to go to bed that night- I was married to Thomas.

Seems like it was yesterday- but then I think about how much has changed since that beautiful crisp blue-sky day and heart swells. My kitties who have come and gone. Living in that old apartment and making it like a house. Visiting Thomas's grandmother all the time and getting great cards in the mail from her which always made me smile... My mother, who made my wedding dress from a simple sketch I drew- who did so many things for me throughout the years- now she...

So many things change.
So many things stay the same.

It has been a perfect 12 years- even with all of life's distractions and all of the the things we have seen and done.
I love all of it.

Happy Anniversary to us...

Love you Thomas.

I was up early this morning. Made a pot of chocolate flavored coffee. Checked my email and paid for my Ebay auction which I won last night. 25 Birds feet. Not sure where the 26th foot may have gone but I am not asking. I think I may cast some of them for the future. Some I may electro-plate when I learn how. I then took my little men outside for a romp in the grass. Vespa loves grazing while Virgil enjoys rolling around. I sat on the back step for a good while. Breathing in the wonderful deep summer air. There was a nice cool breeze today which is refreshing for the heat of July. I watched cicadas flying around high above, out of my reach. I would have asked one to stop and chat for a spell, but they seem to be busy. I find it so humorous that something so big and fat can fly with such delicate clear wings.

I took time to just stop and think about things. I have had a lot on my mind lately. I realized that now- that I have officially given my "notice" to work, and that I am leaving in a month to come home to work, that days like these will become the norm.

I suspect I will become familiar again with nature. Note the passing of time. See the changes of the seasons. Flowers bloom and die. A spiders web is built, becomes heavy with prey and then disappears and then reappears in a new spot between the black iron railing.

Soon things will fall on my shoulders. It is a lot to dwell on, on such a lovely day.

I know I will be okay.

It is Change which always is the culprit when it comes to life. Luckily, I actually sort of adjust to it okay.

Perhaps it is the swelling of the early morning heat and the sounds of summer which invite me to ponder my life a little deeper than at other times.

Whatever the case may be, I am content in the decisions I make.
Life is not worth living if you are not really happy.
I just think that we forget to stop and think- what happiness truly is sometimes...

Hee!