I think Xanga is Dying…for real.
I am having a hard time posting photos-with a message saying Servers are unavailable…

MostlyJane.blogspot.com

There was so much about today that was just crap.
1. I thought my gym changed their hours to only Noon but instead I just read it wrong and they are open until midnight. Which to me is weird…but whatever. It still left me angry until I rechecked the sign as I was leaving-making me angry during the whole dumb workout.

2. I decided to go early-MISTAKE. All 5 of my machines were being used. I like ONLY those machines because they allow me to go fast and burn the most calories in an hour. The owner told me so-and sure enough-I love them. Not to mention I’m used to them now after a year. Well-I had to use something similar-but awful-that goes slow and hurts. HURTS SO MUCH that I pulled a muscle in my right leg making it hard to even walk. UGH! I was mad. 20 minutes into my workout I noticed 2 people getting off the machines so I stopped but by the time I gathered my things in under 30 seconds-two more people moved in and so I was stuck finishing the rest of my hour on that dumb machine. I only was able to burn 400 calories and barely went any distance at only 3.5 miles. UGH! It set off my eating issues and I started to worry about what to have for lunch and dinner and wondered how I was going to be able to stick to my plan…

3. Went to see my British friend for coffee in a few towns over. It was lovely but I stayed later than I thought…Not terrible but I was worried about trying to finish some planting (Didn’t get done). I needed to get some Bean-o so in trying to stay up-beat I decided to go to Walmart, buy 2 new white plates, 2 bowls, and a large bowl for salad mixing. Along with 2 new knives and a little cutting board. I thought that by having designated things to use to eat healthier and to work in the kitchen it would help motivate me. Especially the plates. Seriously it makes a difference. I can see my food on a white plate. And it is heat safe and affordable. So I go to check out-no big thing-but the girl who was flirting with the guy behind me seems to have forgotten to put the 2 knives and the bean-o in a bag. I got all the way home and they weren’t there. NOW I have to go 30 minutes there and 30 back to just get these three thing? UGH! I have 48hrs to do this they told me.

4. I decided to call the rescue lady about the kitten today after not hearing from her since Friday. Seems she had caught the Momma cat-had her fixed-he test results were negative and from that part of the conversation I thought things were going to be positive-but she said the two kittens were not thriving. They were too small and she worried they might not make it? (I got the feeling that maybe she just didn’t want to give them up or maybe had promised them to someone else even? But she made it clear that I was not going home with one…) I gotta say I am a wee bit crushed. I connected with that kitten and had hoped to have given it a good home with my others. I guess not. It wasn’t that I even wanted another-it was just something about this one. So much so that the husband (against his wishes I am sure) said okay. I mean we do have 4 cats so one more is kinda a big deal. He says with all of his guns-that I do not like in the house-he can’t say no to me having another kitten. We both pick our battles carefully.
Needless to say I was sad. And more so-worried about the fate of those two little ones.

5. In-between all of this there was a bunch of other little things that just added up-bad drivers, being cut off, just being in public, picking the wrong lines to be in, leg hurting, frustration about not getting things done today, and finally logging on to the internet and face*book and getting annoyed with people. That doesn’t help one bit.

So I am going to just call today DUMB and hope tomorrow is better.

Today:
Coffee with almond milk
Iced coffee with skim
A handful of these puffed corn things from Trader Joe’s while sitting in the car at 2pm
1 brand muffin from Trader Joe’s at 110 calories

I have not had anything else today.

I need to go make something or at least eat the rest of that Pho from yesterday.

I think I may have not even eating 400 calories today which means  am at a negative.
Hard to believe that a CRAP-TASTIC day can promote weight loss. I should write a book.

BTW: I better start thinking where to put this blog-as it seems XANGA is being to shut down. No service available to upload. *Sigh*

 
Thanks in part to Jellybeans and drinking port once in a while minus going to the gym regularly I put on a few pounds-SO I gotta get them off.

This time  am doing it a little differently.

I’m going to use the gym to burn the 500 calories a day that I need and just eat smaller portions with better choices than resorting to dieting or worse…

I read an article that to lose weight, you stand a better chance if you write things down.
I can see that…

So
Here I go:

5’4
139lbs
BRM: 927

Monday:
2 cups of coffee with low carb low calorie almond milk (Barely enough to even calculate)

3 forkful’s of macaroni salad standing up at the fridge.  I call this breakfast.
(Screw breakfast-it only puts weight on me-seriously I have tried this and hate it)

More when I actually eat…
Hoping to go for Pho today.

I had Pho-hurray! Also an order of Summer roll-which is rice wrapped noodle & a piece of shrimp.

I can’t help but think that this is NOT too bad for ya…
I could eat these non-stop

And for the bowl of seafood Pho? I felt like I ate a lot but in the end the bowl was still magically full??? So I now have a giant container of it left over.
Good for later tonight or tomorrow. Most likely tomorrow as I can’t imagine eating for a long time. SO FULL

10:00pm Feeling like a failure…Stupid white cheetos…Decided to eat those for dinner instead of real food. Ugh!

I think I am going to have to have a really CLEAR idea of suggested food to eat instead of being unable to decide and going to crap. I think I am going to research menus. Perhaps prepare food for these times. There has got to be a way to do this. To stop being lazy…

Seriously…feeling awful.

 
“Guest Curated by Travis Louie

ZOMBIES WELCOME…”

I made a frame for the gallery show…and it felt great.
Its nothing fancy but it is in perfect square, with good cuts and no issues with nails.
I used my table saw…

I’m so glad I worked at a frame shop…its a great skill to have.

Getting closer…

There are people out there who are searching for something more out of life. Like a message from the great beyond or salvation or anything but there here and now…

But the reality is…this is as good as it gets. There is nothing more than life as it is. No going to another place where things will be better and a promise of something great. That’s called wishful thinking and fantasy. You believe in that because life right now is overwhelming to you. Maybe you bought into the fantasy that if you are really good and do everything right you will get something special… Sadly that is all a lie to get you through the tough times.

The reality is life now is what it is. Things are good, then they are bad, and then they return to good…or something like that.

I never bought into the fantasy. I understand that my life is how it is and that if I want to make it great, I just need to find a way. Make a plan, work at it, succeed. That is not that hard. Take the time to just be. Look around you. See what you already have…

I was asked the other day, how come I can be so cheerful especially in the morning? I said… I figured it out. Life is pretty nice. I have indoor plumbing! Hahaa!

I know I only have a set amount of days on this planet before I die and then I am forever gone. Nothing more Nothing after. That is pretty sad really. So I squeeze as much as I can out of my day. I don’t take it for granted.

I love “love”.
I love being happy.
I love living.

I don’t need the help of make believe. I don’t need to know how I got here or if there is anything else. I got everything I need right now.

How hard is that?

I just can’t figure out why people are wasting their time with so much false hope.  It makes me frustrated. They are missing what is right in front of them.

It’s not hard to figure it out…
Oh well…
xox

fix face, legs, finish background on right, turn insides greener, clean up
Tired…want to be done

I have to get this finished…
Time is ticking and I gotta finish this up ASAP. I have to gave it done, framed and shipped to NYC by May 18th.

(I feel nervous because I am showing with 55 other artists who are mostly famous and well I am not…at least not yet! ha!)

Okay-more layers..
xox