I said to myself that by Thursday I would be 129lbs
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Ugh...

Ugh! The only way I am able to get through this day & make it to dinner is with celery.

Managed to work out & sweat my butt off. Good!
Ate only a tiny salad. Okay~

That's not too much to ask.

No food yet today-it is almost 5pm.
70 push ups
50 crunches
100 lunges

Okay-work!

Weight be GONE!

Anything?
Nope...
Will keep trying.
Ugh

I went and bought an exercise mat at Target. It was a good looking mat. Folded up and had handles for easy carrying. It was thick and yet light weight.
I came home and put it down and the finally managed 50 sit ups and 50 pushups. WOW...
It helps to have rearranged the house and made space to work out.

Now I think I am onto something.

Also-one meal a day has been helping work down the numbers.

More later...

I couldn't do more than 30 sit ups & then just did some other stuff. It lasted about 20minutes. I got sick to my stomach & dizzy. I am angry that I am so weak. It is always like that. I never get into it. I hate it because I never feel GOOD doing it. I am left feeling awful. I can't understand why people like it-when it feels so bad to me.

And...if makes me hate my situation even more. I can't imaging how this is going to work. I can't shed this weight. I am going to need to get REALLY sick or something.

WTF? I feel like I am eating NOTHING. Today? I had a piece of Tilapia-nothing more. How is that fattening? So why can't I lose this 15lbs?

I am so mad right now. I hate this.

(It will pass...it's just me feeling defeated...)

I think I can go to the track tomorrow at the local high school and walk. How is that for mustering some positive thinking?

*I made dinner tonight for him. It was an amazing burger: I used the skillet to toast the buns, sliced tomatoes, lettuce, thinly sliced onions, and thousand island-he said it was beyond good. I had an extra burger & cooked it-but in the end, I just wrapped it up in foil and put it in the refrigerator. Just felt frustrated. Or maybe I am just testing my will power. Sticking with just some fish today. Iced coffee for dinner...

Just waiting to get off my ass and finally work out.
Stupid life getting in the way.

HA! Tonight-I swear (lying)

(*It's not like I can screw around anymore-I have to do something! I agreed to something that requires me to not be...out of shape & lumpy, I have no choice really! $ depends on it)

UGH! Today is the day I start my work out. I will do it when I am finished with my daily things I need to do-and when I start to get sleepy around 4pm. I am not sure what I will do. I think I will find a way to listen to music to make it easier. I have to check out this video someone suggested:

I think I can do this. It makes sense. I will start with 50 of each and keep it this way for a week or so. Haha! Perhaps I am biting off more than I can chew since I never work out-but we shall see.
I totally have unrealistic expectations-I need to get a flat stomach and lost 15lbs. Okay go!

*disclaimer: remember I hate working out so this is a big deal for me.

I am sure I will report back tomorrow & tell you how it went.

Yesterday was full of delicious food. I think when you don't eat much, you appreciate the food more perhaps?

I ate this amazing lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. Although I know it is a pizza place, they boast that they have amazing salads-and WOW do they ever!

I first started out with a little bit of this:

Avocado, white corn, black beans, jicama, scallions, bell pepper, cilantro and serrano peppers. Served with tortilla chips. He ate most of it but damn was it good and worth it.

And for my main course I had this: A small Caramelized Peach salad
 
Field greens, spinach, warm caramelized peaches, dried cranberries, red onions, toasted pecans and Gorgonzola tossed in white balsamic vinaigrette-I opted to have grilled salmon added.

Nice huh? Wow-It was!

Later as I dreaded, I had to go to dinner. So instead of going for a traditional Chinese meal I opted for hot and sour soup

and simple salmon avocado sushi.

It wasn't bad considering some people have everything I eat at one sitting.

Of course, as good as it was, I still feel frustrate that I have to stop & eat in general. I wish I could go on without stopping at all to eat. Well-at least it was delicious.

Not sure how today will shape up. I have to do a lot of running around. We shall see.

Looking ahead to the week: So, As I was saying, I am close to getting to the place I need to be. What I am not telling you is, that this weight loss is necessary-kind of in the way you would need to lose weight in order to get a job. I have a few things coming up that require me to be in good shape. Like for instance-what if you were being interviewed on camera-it adds pounds-I do NOT want to be fat on film. It's like reading about actors and actresses who have to lose weight for a project. Yep-that's me.

(*The other night I caught a glimps of myself in a mirror and thought-YIKES! The person in photos just isn't the girl who walks around. I can capture myself in a good photos but I can not fake it on film!)

He offered to set up a place in the bedroom for working out. It is the only place that I can manage a workout it seems. We have this AWFUL bike kinda-machine that is fancy but it is hard on my knees. Besides I hate sitting and working out. I wish we would have gotten something else at the time-like a treadmill. I used to have one and loved it. Oh well-I will just walk around the neighborhood instead I guess.

Okay-enough of this for the morning. I better get cracking on this day. I have a lot of basement clearing to do. Should be nice to get a giant space down there. WAIT? I could always set up a place to work out down there? Ha! The day is just getting interesting...hahaa!
xox

As much as I complain...I somehow managed to lose weight in between all these words...
Screw you scale. Take that!
Now to make it to the 120's
(..and soon the one teens...)