I was reading another Xanga blogger and she wrote (very well) about what she was afraid of and it really made me stop and thing about it.

There are things daily that can be considered scary. I get scared when I think I left something dangerous plugged in when I leave the house. I hate that. I sometimes dream about things that scare me too, like forgetting to feed a pet. That totally gets me crazy.

But for the most part I am not afraid of much. I think I am pretty optimistic and happy so I tend to look to the better side of life.

However when pressed to think of something deeper I think I might say this: (This was the response I left on her site)

*For me? I am afraid to not make enough to leave behind-to not become a successful artist before death. Too many years taking art history classes reading about all the artists who died before they were "discovered". Not having kids? I have nothing else when I die. When I die? My family history dies too. My husband and I were the last ones in both our families-and we decided to not have kids. Everything ends with us. So now-I work hard each day...to create and hope and work. No guarantees, just hope.*

With that said-I look ahead to the next piece of art to make. I research the internet for inspiration. Research other artists throughout history. Play on Pinterest. Keep the forward momentum going.

Today I painter another layer on a leg. Tomorrow morning I will work on another one.

 
Seriously? This whole GUN thing is helping flush out the crazies in the media and FB. Thankful in many ways because it reassures me that I as odd as I might seem to some, for being a kooky-artist type-blah blah blah-I'm very educated, compassionate and still have two feet firmly planted in reality... (UGH!)

That being said, I feel that guns give people a reason to use them instead of solving problems another way. Too easy. Look at the rates of suicide when there is a gun in the house... "Pulling a trigger is faster than making a noose or overdosing.Hanging and poisoning also give an opportunity for a person to backout of the decision"- Link

I do not and will not change my stance. Guns are the problem with so many things in this country & world. Fear and hatred of the government go hand in hand. Too many people fantasizing about situations that will not happen. False Equivalence!

I never had to grew up with guns AND I KNOW that I will NEVER need to use them because the statistics prove that is not going to happen to me in my lifetime-Even living in crazy Baltimore. It just isn't. What could happen is I could die from having one in my house. I would be happy if all the guns just disappeared. I am happy to turn mine in! Good effing riddance...

Now back to make art making and career that doesn't involve guns.

(Zombie painting for the NYC show in May-still very far from finished...)

(*p.s. My friend Brian who killed himself July 2007...to this day I can not imagine he is gone...I miss seeing him around)

Nothing huge to report. I cut bangs the other day. Mostly because of the damage from my blue hair in May.

Sad but a good lesson learned.
Now back to work.

According to my footprints- I am really popular in the Ukraine.

WHY am I popular in the Ukraine???
Who are you and how did you find me???
xox

It was December 2002 that I first discovered Xanga. Now I have have this blog for 10 YEARS!

Wow...that was when the internet was still very young.

I am thrilled to still be here-more so just because I have a nice record of my life over the past 10yrs. It means a lot.

Let the NEW YEAR BEGIN! xox

It seems as if I adore paintings on board or copper-without brush-strokes.

THE DETAIL!!! Oh my goodness this is amazing

I want to be able to paint hands like this.

These gems are amazing.

I really love this view-because of the strength of his back and her hand. So perfect.

The reflection in this brass vase is simply perfect.

This just is enjoyable...

It was a nice day.

XOX

I felt a strange need to go to the Atlantic Ocean and

stand in the water for a few minutes.

Weird since it is November and cold.

Yesterday was rather mild so it made it worth the 3hr trip.