August 3, 2012

  • This Spell I'm under...

    So this not eating thing...?
    No...you don't have to worry. I am okay. I am eating-just all at once.
    It's summer. It's my mood. It also comes from feeling skinnier. The more weight I lose, the better I feel, the more I believe I can lose.
    Far from my goal. It's just hard. I am eliminating so many things-lowering calories slowly and yet-the weight is tough to come off. I am close. I just don't want to stop now.

    I went out late afternoon to help stay awake & since I was done with painting for the day-I wanted an escape. Felt weirdly guilty. I never intended to just go out and wander the mall. It is not in my nature. But by 2:30 I was up and out and trying on clothes.

    (I had a store credit from a long while back that was just burning to be spent. Oh and since I cleaned the basement of ALL clothes, washed and sorted last week)

    Tomorrow is my 16 year Wedding Anniversary and I decided to find a new dress to wear to dinner. I found 2, a skirt, and silver leggings. Better than finding things I wanted to buy? They all fit. AND I didn't get upset at seeing myself in that dreadful mirror! Front and back... It helped that I did my makeup and hair before leaving the house. If you look pretty you tend to feel better in a mirror.

    Anyway...I shopped for clothes, walked, felt better-and bought a great lipstick from the MAC store.

    Now I have to face a day out with my Dad for lunch. Love going to lunch with him, but nervous to eat twice today (having dinner out w/friends tonight) Sounds dumb to worry. I just have to chose wisely.

    Anyhoo-yep. That's whats happening in my weird life. Could be worse.