October 21, 2010
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Exorcism...
So I went to see the specialist about my ever growing problem.
Goodness my doctor was young! Younger than me I think.
Which sort of blows my mind. I think I am now officially getting old.Anyway, she drew me a photo of what is going on inside which appealed to my artistic side for sure.
It seems I have 3 very nasty tumors growing down-below (And she suspects more lesser ones which are just not a problem yet). Sadly they are in need of attention and I can't ignore them as I wish I could. I mean, I really hate having to deal with this, but I have no choice now. I have one tumor located up above my uterus which is pressing on my intestines. Another is located in front and is pressing on my bladder. And one of them is located in my uterus, growing inside and is a large one. Large enough that it is going to be a little difficult to be able to cut out completely since it is a delicate operation (myomectomy). Some of it will have to remain. And it seems it will grow back causing me to have to return again some time later to repeat the process.It is this or... have a partial Hysterectomy. This means no children with the removal of the uterus/cervix (leaving the ovaries in place to preform)
NOPE... Even though I am not having children at this state of the game-I simple just can't justify the removal of my "parts" for these monsters. I mean, I know I am 40 and having a child would be...a HUGE surprise for one, and almost impossible unless my life completely changed drastically...
But what if everything did change?
If there is one thing I do know about life, that is- anything can happen. Especially really crazy fucked up things...
So I never say never.
Besides-I like my parts. I just hate the new angry parts growing inside. They are making everything awkward, painful, horrible...
But I still don't want to be hacked up for the convenience of things. Look-I can live with a lot of crap, and I can ignore a lot of stuff easily. However, I can't just toss away my uterus like it is just a disposable part. I kinda like it.
HECK I love everything right now. I have a huge lovely sex drive, I feel otherwise great, I am having the best time of my life... Except for this.
So what is next? Well-after to meeting today, I had blood work drawn to check for things, and next up will be an MRI to see what is going on in more detail. Tentatively I have surgery scheduled for January. I am going to look into all of my options (My doctor really was very clear, organized, gave me a list of options, and told me to take my time and decide. She was everything you want in a surgeon/doctor and I got a good feeling about her).
Yes...this is what is on my mind and why I have been distracted.
Tomorrow-I start the PILL again to stop my periods. Hoping this will help a little...although it could mean this is food for my tumors and could make them grow faster.Whatever the outcome.
It just sort of sucks.Not much more I can say except it could be worse. So I will shut up and just deal with it.
xox
Comments (4)
I understand it all too well. I am here if you need anything at all, even just to vent or cry. January is a good time to have surgery. My OB told me that so many babies are born in Jan that he won't vacation until may!
I understand as well, I too have a series of Fibroids inside, I have not had them taken care of, and well now it seems I am going to have to think about it, since I am in a relationship, and hopes on getting married some day, and well the possibilite of children as well. But keep your head up.
A beautiful pensive image.
My thoughts will be with you.
Am glad that you kept searching until the answer was found and you will fight it till it is solved.
That first DR you went to sounded like a "feel good" DR I went to a long time ago. His solution for every illness was valium.
Hang in there.
JoeLucas
Thank you for all of your concern and comments...
xoxox
j a n e
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